Renewal

Love: –noun; a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

There are a plethora of different meanings for this word. I find it interesting that when overcoming situations that involve letting go of things and people you love, you find an even deeper meaning and appreciation for the word. It becomes more significant. More...personal. You don't take it lightly, not that I did before. But now, it's different. It's stronger. I guess it is true when they say its better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved before. And the amazing thing is how, that no matter what, you want the best for not only for yourself, but for the ones you love as well. Even if that means putting them before you. That's what its all about. Love is not a feeling, its an action. And you never stop loving someone.

Romans 8: 1-2 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

Condemnation. That means unresolved guilt. I guess you could say I've been living with some unresolved guilt in my life. Something that, up until today, I couldn't stand living with. I couldn't bare thinking about, it killed me inside. I thought I would never forgive myself. Today in church everything changed. God spoke to me through the pastor. It finally clicked in my head. Something I knew all along, but I was finally able to overcome my insecurities. "If you're good enough for God, you're good enough for yourself." I didn't believe that for the longest time. I would have these little video tape players in my mind that never stopped playing. Replaying my mistakes, my trials, my sin. Oh that word sin.

I've finally given myself the ability to overcome those silly tapes in my mind. It's time to put those tapes in storage. It's time to move on. It's all in the past. And I'm learning and growing. And I know God has amazing plans for my life. Plans to prosper and guide me. And I won't let sin, the Devil, take me down anymore. It's time for renewal. It's time to take myself outside my comfort zone and influence. It's time to be a leader. I'm going to change people lives. I'm going to be the spiritual role model. I'm going to get involved, just like people became involved with me. Only I won't make any more of the same mistakes. It's time for a change to accomplish bigger and better things for myself.

When people told me to take the opportunity to change and grow, I guess I thought that meant changing who I am. But it's not about that. I'm still me. It's about changing the actions and reactions of myself. I pray I keep this positive outlook and make something of myself.