"Heal the wound but leave a scar,
A reminder of how merciful you are.
Don't let me forget everything you've done for me,
Don't let me forget the beauty of the suffering."
How many times have you wished you could go back in time? Erase your past and start all over. If only life had a do over button. An actual "Easy button" for life just like they have at Staples. That was easy. All your mistakes gone. Vanished. Re-evaluated and re-done. Would you really want to hit that button?
James 1: 2-3. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
God has given us our trials and mistakes for a reason. When we go through troubled times, God is testing our endurance, our faith, our confidence in Him. How will we handle ourselves? Will we place blame? Point our fingers and judge who is right or wrong? Will we reprimand and question why God has done this to us? Or will we be stronger. Stronger than what sin is trying to do. Take control over us, turn us away from His truth and righteousness.
I've come to realize that I am truly blessed and much stronger than I thought. God has been testing me a lot lately. And it wasn't until recently that I came to the actualization of why I was encountering such difficulties. I've learned that from my experiences and mistakes that I really can grow closer with Him. I've allowed myself to lean and rely on God like I haven't before. I've been praying and reading my Bible more than ever. He had a plan for me this whole time. He was teaching me a lesson that allowed to me to grow spiritually. And I'm very thankful. I needed to get more devoted and focused. Good timing since my spiritual birthday is right around the corner. =]
I've realized how truly blessed I am to have such amazing people in my life. I have a whole second family who loves me no matter how stupid I may decide to be. Who are there for me to give me advice and guidance. Not only that but friends who are here to support me and comfort me. Now I can't say that I am fully healed and better. No. I don't think I'm even close. But I'm on the road to get there. And I won't let any obstacles stand in my way. This week has allowed me to rethink who I am and who I am with God. I'm preparing myself for the bumps in the road that I know I will encounter next week. No doubt this weekend will be one of the hardest of my life. I will need a lot of prayer to help me fix my brokenness.
4 comments:
Oh Jess. For being after 1am typing this, it's really good. I'll be sure to do my blog soon =p
But yeah. God gives us these trials I think to try and make us stronger as long as we keep our focus in Him. Yeah we go through some pretty ridiculous struggles, and it's just like "Why God?". I still don't understand that sometimes. But I am slowly learning to not lose my faith in Him. I used to do that a lot, something bad happens and im like whatever. But now through those times he gave me I've learned to grow in Him just like you. There's more I wanna type but I really need to get to bed. Maybe a 2nd comment later? We'll see.
I'll keep praying for you!
Keep that head up kiddo--don't forget I'm here for ya!
<3bubbahoe.
Ps:James is such a good book in the Bible ;)
wow jess im so glad that u see these things and are really depending on God it is amazing just like u r amazing i will be praying 4 u and u know im always here no matter what k love u so much
Amazing blog Jessica.
I'm so proud of the way you've handled yourself during this. God works in such odd ways but one day you'll use your knowledge to help another girl or guy.
I'm so glad that you're depending on Him, you can totally bring Him glory through this.
I'm still praying for you and especially that you'll have patience because that's something you'll need a lot of soon. :-)
P.S. It's Taylor
For all the "trials" that you've been through, have you stopped to consider the consequences of your actions? Have you stopped to consider how one decision, repeated over multiple occasions (or does everybody think it was just a quick slip up), can truly mess up the lives of SO MANY people? Where is your self-control? What set of values have you been living by?
With all that Bible reading that you've been doing - have you gotten to the part about adultery? Keep reading.
For someone so cheap, you sure do use your words well - I hope that works for you when you get the heck out of here to work on your psychology degree.
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