Friday, August 15, 2008

I gotta get through this.

I have decided that I need to buckle down. I need to fasten my seat belt and prepare for the ride God has planned for me. To accomplish this I need help. I guess you could say I'm a list type of person. I like making To Do and check lists. Well, to stay focused on myself and my goals in the long run, I need a plan. A plan of action. I become distracted too easily. I let my mind wander to places that only hurt me. I need to stop living in the past, stop trying to fix things I can't control, and stop telling myself things that only bring me down.

How do I do this, you ask? Well I need rules. I need boundaries. I need to condition myself. My brain needs restrictions. Nothing else is working, so I figure what do I have to lose? I WILL force myself to follow my rules. In the end, it will be better for me. I need to get to a stable place in my life and everything else I have tried hasn't worked.

THE RULES
  • No more sad songs
  • Put all pictures and memorabilia out of sight
  • Classically condition myself by causing a slight physical pain when thoughts arise about topic ( I love psych <33)
  • Go to all places, events, etc that remind me of the aversive stimulus to get out old memories and places of remembrance
  • Stay occupied
  • Don't over analyze (this will be a hard one)
  • Remember God has a plan

I'm totally open to any suggestions. I could use alllll the help I can get. And if you notice that I'm not following through with my plan of action. Slap me. Kick me. Yell at me. Do something. Confront me. Please. I know I can't only rely on myself. I'll have those moments of wanting to break my rules. But I can't. I must make myself change my mindset. This will be the algorithm that will accomplish my goal of moving on. I need to for my health and sanity.

It's time I make myself focus on a solution.

Suggestions?

4 comments:

Melanie said...

good job, jessica!
i will be praying for you!
you can do it! ily too!

A visible Ghost said...

My only suggestion is to be involved in the word regularly someone. Maybe doing a book. If you'd like to do a devotion/book together text me when you get this :-) I've got some ideas of what we can do!

A visible Ghost said...

somehow** lol

dK. or Kaydee. said...

One of the best ideas you've had. Wanna make me a list?